It's A Long Story

...but I am going to tell it anyway! Consider this part II from the Thanksgiving post...our holiday season has turned from unorthodox to comical, as you will read. Every Christmas we happily wonder down to the corner where some friendly Canadians have a Christmas tree stand and we purchase our little 3 foot tree. Like I said, we do things a little different here in the City. But Andy and I love going to cut down a Christmas tree, something we did in Greenville, and both of us occasionally did as kids growing up. We thought what a great idea to find a tree farm outside of the city and let Gabriel experience a season from our past. Oh, what a catalyst this train of thought would turn out to be!

We found this great little place about an hour West of the City in New Jersey, the website promising all of the family fun and memories we could stand for cutting our own Christmas tree. Perfect. We mapped it out and headed out Saturday morning. We also thought this would be a great opportunity to take our Christmas card picture. Oh I could just see it, Gabriel "helping" Andy cut down our little tree. I was giddy I was so excited about this day (did I mention Christmas is my favorite time of year?).

As we neared the end of our directions, we were a bit perplexed because, although it was quaint, we were in the middle of a neighborhood. Hardly a practical location for my perfect little tree farm! Sure enough, we pulled up to a few house-less lots that, indeed, had rows of Christmas trees on them. Hmmm. I was not very happy about that. Gabriel had fallen asleep about as soon as we got him in the car, so when we arrived and parked, I suggested that Andy get out and see what the deal was while I waited in the car with Gabriel. Andy returned to the car with irritating news: ALL trees (no matter the size/height) were $65. Seriously, I can buy a 3 foot tree that will fit in my tiny apartment for the same price as an 8 foot tree?! That is ridiculous. 

Determined not to let these New Jersey-ans ruin my Christmas memory, we decided to walk around the "farm" anyway and get some shots of Gabriel exploring the trees. He loved all of the trees, the tall ones, the small ones, the Charlie Brown ones...he even got out his tape measure to measure a few...AND we got some great holiday shots. So there. 

So we left treeless and thought, surely, there would be a local Christmas tree stand somewhere on the way back to the City, especially if we took the county roads. So we drove, and we drove, and we drove...eyes peeled for the slightest indication of a Christmas tree stand. Nada. Town after town we passed through, some of them so picturesque as if out of a story, but still nothing. We were nearing an opportunity to get back on the Interstate, so we had about decided to just go back home and buy our little tree from the Canadians on the corner...but then...

Trees! Albeit at a Whole Foods, but so what, they had beautiful trees for sale! We promptly wheeled into the parking lot and approached the man setting up the trees outside. True, they were beautiful, but they were a little big (7-8 foot firs). So we politely asked if they had any smaller ones somewhere. The man replied they had some stacked up in the back we could go look at, but he was pretty sure all of them were in the 7-8 foot range. Couldn't hurt to look I thought, as images of a big beautiful tree danced in my head...

He was right, the ones in the back (besides being locked behind a fence and nearly inaccessible), were just as large. Back to the front. Andy and I look at each other, look at the trees, look at each other...well they are only $50 for an 8 foot tree, can we make it work? We will pay $50 in the City for a 3 foot tree, and this one included a stand...the Frugal McDugal's could not resist...we'll take it!!

Uh, oh you want to buy a tree the man replies? Well, yes, that is the idea. We just got these in yesterday, I'm not sure how you buy them, let's go inside to the floral department. We all trek inside. Nobody is in the floral department, we wait for another employee...uh, you want to buy a tree? Hold on, let me get (enter any name here you wish, this happens 4 more times), back to the back... no you can't get these, it's not safe for customers to be back here...back to the front...no you can't have these trees they are for display...are you kidding me with this day??

We were trying our best to remain polite, but we had been in and out of the store and to the front and back four times and nobody knew what was going on...we had even paid for the tree! Finally, the man who had initially been setting up the trees said that we had been carted around enough, he was sorry and to pick out any display tree we wanted and they would wrap it up for us. Finally! Gabriel picked out a fine tree, they hauled it to the back where 5 employees tried to figure out how to run it through the little contraption that puts a net on it, and about 15 minutes later it was strapped to the top of the blazer - success! Andy and I were elated with our little find...

Oh but the comedy does not end there. Remember I mentioned we were close to the Interstate, like maybe a few miles at most? So literally 2 minutes after we left Whole Foods, all puffed up about our precious tree, what did we pass on the left hand side of the road that wiped the smile right off our faces? A CHRISTMAS TREE STAND! Andy and I cried out in disbelief and Gabriel just laughed and laughed at the spectacle we were making. On we drove...wait, what is that up there on the right? Oh, ANOTHER Christmas tree stand! No, I am not joking. Finally, right before we got to the interstate, you guessed it, another Christmas tree stand. Three of them in the few miles it took us to get from Whole Foods to I-80. We were laughing ourselves silly by the  time we got home, what a story...still not over though.

So remember we have this tiny apartment, and we have to elevate the Christmas tree to keep it away from tiny and curious hands, and oblivious, tail wagging dogs. We have 9 foot ceilings, a 2 foot table to put the tree on, and an 8 foot tree. Exactly, something is not adding up. What do we do with our oversized-I-never-thought-we-would-get-one tree? Surgery, that's what! Andy pulled out his clippers and pliers and saw and went to work on that tree, Gabriel following along with his play tool set (which was precious by the way and totally made the entire day complete). 

We ended up with a 6 foot tree, which is proudly sitting atop our 2 foot table and the star is mere inches from our 9 foot ceiling. And it is wonderful and I love it! The bonus is that since we had to cut the bottom boughs off, we had plenty of extra to make fresh wreaths and garland for additional decorating. We ended up completely pleased with our purchase and all the laughter and joy it brought us. What a day!